Let me be frank my dear dear current employer.
You are not for me.
However, what I have learned from you, the connections I made, the growing up I did, I thank you. You have taught me quite a bit, and you have my eternal thanks.
But it still doesn’t change the fact that you are not for me. I learned from someone great that you simply can not cage a bird meant to fly free. No matter how hard you try.
Let me comfort you in saying that this isn’t a break up letter. In fact I just committed myself for four more years to your servitude, and even though I felt myself die a little when I turned that paperwork in. I like that I am still continuing to learn more about me from the situations you have put me in. I know I tell myself I strive for the peace in life, but I can’t escape the hectic life I swirl in.
I like it. Well, I learned to like it. You have made me crazier, more angry, more dependent on Red Bull, and jaded. I wake up some days debating on going in or just to continue to lay in bed. But I still show up. It’s not the possible jail time that makes me continue if I were to abandon you. But because I think someone, somewhere possibly depends on me. I don’t always make the right call, I don’t always do the right thing, I make more enemies than I do friends. But I still show up. Angry, bitter, hopped up on a caffeine product that will most likely shorten my life span, but in the hopes that it gets better and strive to try and make it better. That I will make the right call, do the right thing, and make more friends than enemies.
I’ve met people that made me remember who I was, saw situations that made me remember why I gladly escaped similar circumstances years before. People who I wanted to be, and insipred me to where I wanted to go. But, there is something there that leaves me bitter, lingering for something that you haven’t given me, or I haven’t found. Maybe my next location will be different, maybe that someone who told me it’d be different and that despite the same bullshit I deal with could be there. That I would enjoy it. I hope that person is in fact, right. I know I have a back up plan, one that I thought I have given up on, that at one point I called, “a useless institution that wasted four years of your life that left you broke, paying off loans for too long, leaving you in a career you would never like”.
I don’t know. I have taken a chance on you, like the same chance you gave me. I’ll still continue to try, I can’t let myself give up or give in.
But it still doesn’t change the fact that you are not for me.
Yours Truly,
Ian
PS – Silly string has made it bit a more bearable, please issue a national stock number for it so we can get more on order.
